This Perfect World?
by LukesDragon
Summary: Mcdohl and Kasumi in reflective mood, set at the end of Sukioden I


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This Perfect World…? By Luke's Dragon

A/N

Suikoden, much like final fantasy is one of my all time favorite series so it was only going to be a matter of time till I wrote a Suikoden fan Fic. One of the things I like is the sheer amount of characters to choose from, kinda strange then that I choose one of the most canonical pairings of Mcdohl and Kasumi. It takes place at the end of the first Suikoden. And maybe it can sorta be considered a spoiler, I don't thinks so, but it might be considered that way so consider yourself warned.

I've called McDohl by the name of Hazel since that's what I name him on the game.

The song is "This Perfect World" By Freedy Johnston

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Disclaimer

Suikoden I and II and all the characters belong to Konami, not me. All I own is my imagination and my cat.

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Hazel McDohl took one last look around at all the celebrations taking place, the sound of people enjoying themselves for the first time in a long while filled the air and the mood was one of sheer jubilation. And well it might be, the Liberation Army had won, evil had been vanquished and the world seemed a much brighter place than before. Or at least that was what all those happy people were thinking, Hazel though was not in a celebratory mood, his heart was heavy and he could not face the future with a smile and hope. Rummaging through his pocket he found the letter he had written earlier that morning, he had agonized over what to say for an age, finally settling on simply saying 'Goodbye'. He had never been one for words and this seemed so hard to say. After everything he had been through he was going to leave, maybe he should have stayed and led the new nation but he just couldn't do it. This stupid war had already claimed the lives of all the people so dear to him that he couldn't bear to stay in the Toran Republic surrounded by the ghosts of lost friends.

A voice startled him; someone had snuck up behind him and taken him totally by surprise. He wasn't an easy person to catch unawares but whoever it was stood behind him had managed it. Spinning round he was face to face with a young ninja, the very last person he had wanted to see.

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You ought to see your face; you ought to hear your voice

Last time I was here I would not turn around

You ought to lock that door somebody might get hurt, didn't I teach you that?

"Lord Hazel…I didn't mean to surprise you"

"…"

There didn't seem to be anything to say, Hazel knew that if he tried he would either cry or want to say, either option was unthinkable, and yet he knew what he wanted most was to stay, maybe not in Gregminster but with Kasumi, and that scared him so much. 

"You're leaving us Lord Hazel?" it wasn't really a question, they both knew the answer, besides the pack he was wearing over his shoulder was a giveaway even without the goodbye letter and the way he was just stood staring at the city.

"I won't try and stop you"

"…" Good, even now if she had asked him to stay he probably would have done, and that would have been the worst thing in the world, she would have just been another person for him to hurt and lose.

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This perfect world so blue I can't begin to say 

This perfect world I know I never should have gone away

But I still deserve to say goodbye no matter what I've done, no matter what I've done

"What will you do?"

"…Travel, try and find some answers I guess"

"Will you be coming back?"

"…Maybe"

But probably not, he told himself. He didn't want to stay here as a leader of the nation he had created, but more than that this place was filled with too many memories. Down there was where he had played as a child, watched by Gremio, now dead and gone. Over there was where he and Pahn had sat and talked on countless occasions, again another face that he would never see again. And there was the house he had lived in with his father and Ted, both gone forever. Up ahead dominating the skyline was the castle outside of which he had last spoken to Mathiu, and inside was where Viktor and Flik had died protecting him. No there were too many memories here to stay, some happy but they seemed to be outweighed by all the sorrow of the war.

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I see her in your face hear her in your voice

Last time I was here they found her in the lake 

You ought to see my scars, you think I'm made of stone, didn't you tell me that?

Hazel could sense that there was something his companion wanted to say, but whatever it was did not seem to want to be said.

"…What about you?"

"Me?"

"What will you do?"

"I'm going to go back to Rokkaku, rebuilding and…stuff"

"…Oh"

He did know why he had asked, it wasn't, as if he cared, after tonight he would probably never see her again, it was easier that way. Maybe he had wanted her to say she wanted to come with him, then he could have…He didn't know what he could have done but somehow it stung that she hadn't asked to accompany hi, but then again she wouldn't have done that would she?

They stood in silence for what seemed like forever, side by side they heard the sounds of celebration fade as the revelers grew tired and went home, safe in the knowledge that the world was a better place because of their hero. The stood silently as the night began to fade into the dawn, as the sun began to rise on a brand new day.

"You should go before people wake up Lord Hazel"

"…I know" 

"Well Goodbye my Lord"

"…Goodbye…and you don't need all the 'My Lord' stuff, just call me Hazel"

With that he turned and walked away, out of Gregminster and towards the future, alone.

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This perfect world, they say that soon I will be gone away, 

But I still deserve to say goodbye no matter what I've done

This perfect world, this perfect world

Now I've come around it's far too late...And these pills won't even let me cry... 

Three days later Hazel reached Banner Village on the outskirts of the country, wrapped in a dark traveling cloak to disguise himself he boarded a ship heading towards the north where maybe he could find some answers. Answers? He hardly knew what the questions were; maybe he was just running away. Running from his responsibilities, from his pain and from her. No he had no choice he couldn't stay she would just end up getting hurt by him, just like he hurt everyone he ever cared about. And then there was the matter of that cursed rune on his hand, but he was trying not to think about that. All the nightmares and visions reminded him that it was still there even if he tried to forget about it. A wry smile crossed his lips, as he thought about someone else who was going to be doing the same thing to him.

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No one knows you even when you're gone, 

But I still deserve to say goodbye, no matter what I've done, no matter what I've done

You ought to see your face, you ought to hear your voice, lock this after me.


End file.
